Their pain is gone and yours has just begun
On a hot summer day, when I was twelve years old, my grandmother sat me down on a porch swing in our backyard near the garage. She took my hand, with tears running down her cheeks, she went on to tell me, “Your great grandfather took his life in our garage.” I asked her, “how did he do it”? She said to me, “he hung himself.” My great grandfather took his life twenty years earlier and yet her pain was so deep it was as if he had died yesterday. I remembered how I was lost for words. How awful I felt that I didn’t know how to comfort her.
With all that is going on in our world suicide takes a backstage and yet what is going on in the world is increasingly adding to people’s depression. In many cultures it is taboo to talk about it. Here are some facts about suicide:
- Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. for all ages
- Every day, approximately 123 Americans die by suicide (CDC)
- There is one death by suicide in the U.S. every 12 minutes
- Depression affect 20 – 25% of Americans ages 18 + in a given year (CDC)
- Suicide takes the lives of over 48,300 Americans every year (CDC)
- The highest suicide rates in the U.S. are among, Whites, American Original People, and Alaska Natives
- Only half of all Americans experiencing an episode of major depression receive treatment (NAMI)
- 80% – 90% of people that seek treatment for depression are treated successfully using therapy and/or medication (TADS study)
- An estimated quarter million people each year become suicide survivors (AAS)
- There is one suicide for every estimated 25 attempts (CDC)
- There is one suicide for every estimated 4 suicide attempts in the elderly (CDC)
Losing someone you love to suicide is a different kind of grief then when you lose some one you love to natural causes. When someone you love dies from natural causes it is easier to remember the good times. When you lose someone from suicide it is the end of their life you keep remembering. It plays over and over in your mind. You get stuck in the emotions of “what if,” “should have,” “would of” mode. Not only are you dealing with the grief, you feel guilt, shame and anger. Please seek professional help if you feel you are stuck in this kind of thinking after losing a loved one to suicide.
Here is an easy hand mudra that helps with releasing guilt, shame and anger and it is said it can also give you peace of mind. It is called Abhaya Hridaya. Bring your hands to prayer position. Start with crossing your wrists in front of your heart. Now turn your hands over so the backs of your hands are together. Wrap your right index finger around the left index finger. Then your right middle finger around your left middle finger (skipping your ring finger) then wrap your right pinky finger around your left pinky finger and lastly bring the finger tips of your ring finger and thumb together (both left hand and right hand). Hold this position for 20 minutes each day for 10 days.
Earlier I mentioned I wished I knew how to comfort my Grandmother on that hot summer day so long ago. I felt helpless that day when I didn’t know how to comfort her. So, as an adult, I turned helplessness into comfort by becoming a Co-Founder of WIN (Wholistic International Network) WIN is community of like-minded holistic practitioners whose goal is to create a circle of support and healing.
I encourage you to visit https://wholisticinternationalnetwork.com/index.html as a resource for holistic healing information, practitioner contacts, events listings and most importantly, inspiration!
Namaste`
Linda
Wholistic International Network 